Everybody's Having Fun But Me
by coyotemoonmistress
Summary: Collection of my favourite pairings. Hard to post on here properly so it'll be on AO3 too. Thor and Loki have a majority of the pairings but there is more. Not appropriate for people under 16 - under 18 either really, rated M for a reason. Come in for more deets!
1. Intro

**I thought I'd write a collection of ficlets with the various pairings I'm into; I'll try and make each one only around 1k words. Some are angsty, some have love, AUs and of course straight smut. I'll be putting this on AO3 as well if that helps anyone, still under coyotemoonmistress. **

**Here's the list:**

**1. KilixFili/Durincest (The Hobbit)**

**2. DamonxStefan/Defan or Vampcest or Salvacest whatever the kids are calling it these days (Vampire Diaries)**

**3. ThorxLoki/Thorki (Thor:TDW)**

**4. LokixThanduil (Thor & The Hobbit)**

**5. Anakin SkywalkerxObi-Wan Kenobi/Anakenobi (Prolly Star Wars II: Clone Wars)**

**6. LestatxLouis (Interview with a Vampire) – Yes I know I can't publish Anne Rice inspired articles on here but I have a link to AO3 in there instead. I had to write it.**

**7. Twilight Slash, Carlisle will be king but there's a few pairings (The Twilight Saga)**

**8. BatmanxJoker/BatJokes (Dark Knight)**

**9. ThranduilxLegolas (The Hobbit)**

**10. SamxDean/Wincest (Supernatural)**

**11. ThorxLokixSteve Rogers (Avengers, but AU)**

**12. Superman[Kal]xBatman[Bruce] (Dark Knight & Man of Steel or comic Superman)**

**13. Chris HemsworthxTom Hiddleston/Hiddlesworth (Actor AU)**

**Hope this will be successful. I started out just looking up DamonxStefan and now here I am. There seems to be a bit of a pattern with me isn't there? What is it with incestuous and/or gay relationships that keeps me coming back for more? **

**Some pairings listed here have a pretty big fan base while others like BatmanxJoker and AnakinxObi Wan don't have heaps so here's my horrible contribution. **

**This story also marks my first one that isn't Salvatore centric – I've really made it hard on myself haven't I?**

**As usual I acknowledge and want you to know that none of these characters, or movies that they appear in, are mine hence me writing where each character is from – der. I apologise for any grammar/spelling mistakes, if there are any that make reading the fic confusing please let me know.**

**Most will have swearing and smut, some violence and one or two might have major character death but you will be warned! Nothing worse than getting to the end and Thor/Batman ends up carrying a dead Loki/Joker away in tears – not good.**

**I also understand that these pairings might not appeal to everyone and fair enough, just skip that chapter. Thanks. **


	2. 1 Carry Me Home - KilixFili

**1. KilixFili (Durincest) - The Hobbit**

**These boys caught my attention in Unexpected Journey by being so cute and that certainly didn't change in Desolation. This one deals with mating cycles/Alpha stuff and has mentions of mpreg (I don't really get mpreg, I mean Loki can get away with it coz of his shapeshifting but otherwise I just don't get it. But I thought you couldn't really do a heat fic without even mentioning it).**

**Warning: Language, bit of gore and violence, dwarf brothers knocking boots and again, mpreg.**

Kili was keeping track of his cycle; he had no choice when he and his brother were endlessly trekking across Middle Earth.

Since they had no real home of their own the Durin brothers would often join up with other dwarves, and sometimes even men, to complete quests and fight in battles as a way to earn a living. That's what they were doing surrounded by strange men versing a pack of feral orcs.

Fili always kept his brother in sight; protecting Kili occupied most of his time. But at the same time watching his brother hack and slash through orc-flesh filled him with pride – among other things.

Fili finally had a second to breathe and when he did he was hit with the intense, familiar scent of Kili's heat.

The brothers locked eyes across the field and Fili's lust spiked when he saw his brother's desperate gaze. But they weren't stupid; Kili wouldn't let his brother take him amidst the dirt, blood and swords.

So each brother absorbed their want. Kili was better with self-control; Fili could only transform his lust into bloodlust.

Kili watched his brother's usually peaceful, warm eyes turn dark. His lips – normally whispering words of love – twisted into an ugly scowl. In this state Fili would turn into a vicious beast with no compassion, mercy or reason. He would smash, rip and carve through his enemy, growling and laughing all the while.

Soon his clothes were soaking with the putrid blood of his victims, even his beautiful face and fair hair which had now turned red gold in the afternoon sun.

Kili helped as much as he could and soon the orcs were defeated, now he had Fili to deal with.

Watching Fili fight had not helped Kili with his heat and he needed his brother back. Thankfully no other dwarves were in the company and men were unresponsive to dwarven pheromones.

Kili approached his older brother cautiously; his brother was more monster than dwarf right now but if Kili wanted to be fucked he would have to awaken his brother.

The remaining menfolk had either started back to camp or were rounding up deserters, leaving the Durin brothers alone with the bloodied corpses of the fallen.

"Fili?" The younger brother whispered, "Brother it's over, we won." The blond dwarf growled and span around to face Kili, looking him over with wild eyes.

Kili did not have any patience left; he tore his armour off, quickly followed by his dirtied, blood-stained clothes. He slipped his hand between his legs to the hot, wet mess between them. Kili collected some of the liquid on his fingers and raised them to Fili's face and smeared them across his lips. Fili inhaled deeply as he licked his lips and moaned.

The dark haired dwarf watched with delight as darkness receded from Fili's blue orbs. Kili grinned as he unlaced his brother's tights and slid a hand inside to pull out his hardness (the best side effect of fierce combat).

He stroked his mate a few times before Fili pulled him close for a hungry kiss and sank to the ground, yanking his brother with him. Kili straddled his brother's hips and moaned as their hard cocks came into contact.

"I've waited long enough brother; hurry up and fuck me!" Kili whined.

So amongst the abandoned weapons and mangled orc remains Fili laid his brother down and spread his legs, giving his naturally lubricated entrance the briefest caress before entering him in one rough thrust.

The sudden intrusion had Kili screaming out in surprise and pleasure – it was so natural to them and they felt so complete. Fili loomed over his little brother and kissed him gently as he started a brutal rhythm causing the younger to cling to his alpha for dear life.

"Is this what you wanted Kili? Is my cock enough for you little brother?" Kili could only give a broken moan in response. "You're so wet! You know I was killing for you; every death rattle I was awarded with reminded me of your moans of pleasure. Every heart I ran my sword through I imagined thrusting into you as I am now. Of course you had to go into heat now, so inconvenient; you just love being the centre of attention. You're lucky I didn't fuck you in the middle of the carnage, in front of everyone, but you probably would have liked that wouldn't you? Show everyone what a blood thirsty, cock hungry whore you really are. But I wouldn't want you any other way."

Kili was painfully hard and Fili's words had the right effect on both of them. "Yes Fili! I'm coming…." Kili's muscles constricted around his brother's cock as he came – releasing across his belly and chest. He laughed breathlessly as he reached up and licked into his brother's mouth. "Fuck Kili – every time, you're so tight every time. I'm ready." Fili panted harshly.

Kili pulled back gently, letting his brother's unsatisfied erection slip from him. He pushed Fili onto his back, landing on top of him. He wasn't in the mood to tease or be cruel; he sucked down his brother's cock immediately.

The dwarf brothers agreed a long time ago, when they were first mated, that they couldn't bring a child into their lives. Both brothers had felt the pain of being unwanted and having no home and they didn't want that for their child. They knew their uncle had plans to take back his throne and when that day came their kind could finally return home. Only then would they feel comfortable starting a family.

Fili senses his release is imminent and gently pushes his brother away, pumping himself until he finally comes. Kili always insisted that even though he couldn't take his seed naturally he wanted it still so he caught most of it on his tongue and swallowed it gratefully. Fili's body seemed to know there was no chance of procreation as his knot didn't form, it rarely did, leaving Fili just short of being fully satisfied.

Fili longed for the day when he could come inside his mate, feel his knot swell and hold him close until it subsided. Make love over and over again until his brother's belly swelled with their child. But until their dreams became reality Fili could always find a home in his brother's arms.

**Thanks for reading. Comments are appreciated, especially advice and even criticism if written well. **

**Next up: DamonxStefan**


	3. 2 Kissing Cousins - DamonxStefan

**Chapter 2 – DamonxStefan**

**Clocking in at just over 1.2k this fic is an AU where Damon and Stefan are cousins and humans and in modern times. The Salvatores aren't mine but this story is, unless there's special one I haven't seen yet!**

**Language and adult themes; rated M for a reason.**

Stefan loved when his cousin Damon came to visit from the city; he was older but not too old to make their conversations uncomfortable or their company awkward. Damon was fun to be around and always had an exciting story – he'd travelled the globe against his parent's wishes, he was only 22.

Stefan had always lived in a small town where things were simple and basic, so when Damon came into town with his fancy designer clothes, luxury car and handsome looks, it was like he was from another planet. And Damon was beautiful; his raven-black hair, sharp features, plump lips and almost iridescent pale blue eyes made him look like a model from a magazine.

Stefan had been told he was handsome but he felt lesser by comparison – not that Damon ever treated him that way, they were equals, brothers in his eyes. They told each other everything and it was during one of these conversations a few years ago that Damon told Stefan he preferred men over women. He never thought of Damon in a sexual way before but when he found this out he was instantly curious. It wasn't brought up again and Damon never talked about boyfriends but the thought was always in the back of Stefan's mind.

Stefan only been to Damon's house years ago, whenever they saw each other it was only when Damon came to visit him. Stefan guessed it was so Damon could get away from his parents; they didn't agree with any aspect of his lifestyle and they were having their own problems. Stefan had overheard his parents talking about Damon's parents fighting and getting divorced and wondered how Damon put up with it.

With all that in mind it came as a surprise when Damon asked his parent's permission to take Stefan to the city for a few days. That's how he found himself in Damon's room watching the new Evil Dead sharing a bottle of bourbon stolen from Damon's dad. The movie was supposed to be a horror but they both ended up in tears, laughing at just about every scene. His uncle would pound on the door telling them to shut up, and they did – for about 15 minutes.

Stefan snuck closer to Damon without realising it until he was practically on his lap. Damon turned to him, catching his eyes, "What are you thinking about Stef?" Damon asked with a smile that warmed Stefan, he could smell alcohol on his breath but that deter him at all. He turned his whole body to Damon – movie forgotten, "I love you Damon." His cousin grabbed his shoulder a little rougher than normal, "I love you too Stefan!" But Stefan – in his inebriated state – didn't take Damon's words as coming from a place of family love; his mind twisted their meaning.

In response Stefan put a hand on Damon's thigh, letting it slide up along the inseam until he reached his goal between his thighs and groped him through his jeans. Damon leaned back and pulled Stefan's hand from him, "Someone's had too much to drink. Alright come on, get changed its bedtime." Damon stood up on slightly shaking legs but was held back by a firm grip on his wrist, "No Damon. I can't stop thinking about you." Damon had enough sense to be calm and rational, "You don't want that Stefan; just because I'm that way doesn't mean you have to be too."

But the logical part of Stefan's mind wasn't working causing him to before frustrated, "I know what I want; I want you." Stefan showed Damon just how true his words were by pulling his hand down to Stefan's half hard dick. When Damon didn't immediately pull back Stefan calmed down, "Please Damon. I'm supposed to experiment at my age right? Wouldn't it be safer to do it with someone I know, love and trust?" Stefan lifted Damon's hand and held it against his chest. "We can stop whenever you want but can't we try?" Damon could feel his resolve weaken; he did feel close to Stefan and he knew that Stefan felt the same way but he thought it was because Stefan didn't have an older brother to look up to, not that he had a crush on him.

Damon leant down to capture Stefan's lips in a chaste kiss in answer. Now that he had permission Stefan boldly grabbed the other man's hip and pulled in back to the bed and crawled above him. "Tell me what to do." Damon chuckled at Stefan's ignorance. "Just touch me, like you'd touch yourself. I'll help you." Stefan snuck a hand between them to rub over the growing bulge; he could feel the outline of his dick through his skinny jeans. Stefan kissed along his jaw and neck, palming Damon a little harder before he started freeing it from its denim prison. Encouraged by his cousin's moans Stefan took Damon's heavy cock in his hand.

Stefan relaxed at the familiar sensation but it was weird doing it to someone else. "That feels good; just try what you like to do to yourself." So he did and he rutted his clothed erection against Damon's thigh. They spent the next few minutes rocking together until Damon suddenly released over Stefan's hand and yelled out into his neck. "I haven't felt this good in a long time Stef – and just from a handjob." We watch with a shocked expression as Stefan brought his soiled hand to his mouth and chanced a taste. Damon hugged him tightly for a minute and he felt the alcohol in his system wear off enough to smirk evilly at his next thought.

Damon gripped his arms tighter around his little cousin and rolled him until Stefan was lying underneath him, "Your turn. You're going to love this." Damon's hands went straight to work on Stefan's belt and zipper before pulling his jeans completely off leaving the bottom half of him bare to Damon. He wrapped his long fingers around the base of Stefan's throbbing dick and lowered his head to kiss the head of it, collecting the pre-spend there. Stefan struggled to his elbows and was amazed by the sight and feel of Damon's mouth on him. "Fuck Damon, oh my God," Damon took more into his mouth and swirled his tongue, "You're so fucking good."

Damon didn't really want to ruin the moment by telling him that's his first blow job so anything would feel good, and that to be as good as Damon you need a lot of practice. Instead he just swallowed him down further like the expert he was until Stefan was fucking his face. He slid one of his hands from Stefan's thighs and snuck a finger down to his cousin's perineum and stroked it, causing Stefan to arch higher and moan louder. He could feel Stefan was going to come any second so he took his balls in his other hand and using a combination of the three sensations sent Stefan shooting over the edge.

Stefan tried to catch his breath and clear his vision. He never imagined this would happen when he accepted Damon's invitation to his house. He could feel Damon kissing across his inner thigh and wanted those lips on his instead. "We are definitely doing this again. And next time I want you to fuck me." Stefan growly playfully as he tugged on Damon's ear with his teeth. "I want you to show me everything."

**Hope you liked?**

**Next: ThorxLoki**


	4. 3 Here With Me - ThorxLoki

**3. ThorxLoki (Thorki) – Thor/Avengers/Thor2TDW**

**This one is a bit angsty; just a warning. I was going to off Lokes but I just couldn't do it so I think the ending is unrealistic but – hey – it's fanficition right? And sorry, it took a bit longer to update than I wanted.  
**

**The lyrics in here are from 'Here With Me' by The Killers – the whole album is great btw. I was listening to this song and I thought, "THORKI" – Loki in that glass prison thinking back. Someone has probably had this idea already and I know it's not very deep and interpretative but eh. Hopefully the formatting sticks so you can see whose are my words and whose are Flowers'.**

**Mentions of relationship but no smut – sorry, it wouldn't fit.**

_Wheels are turning  
I remember when you were mine_

Loki could still feel the sunlight on his face – or maybe it was Thor's skin against his. Secret crushes and simple touches had turned into a fierce love over the centuries.

To outsiders they were merely close brothers; they spent every hour together – waking and in dreams, until they grew too old and were moved to separate chambers. When he looks back he's disgusted by the naivety and the sweetness; how could he believe that time would last through their, seemingly eternal, lives.

But for a time Loki was Thor's and Thor was Loki's.

_Don't want your memory  
In my head, no  
I want you here with me_

Loki thinks back to the first time they made love - he could still could it that back then. They were giddy with excitement and drunk on love and everything was perfect. He couldn't remember how Thor ended up on top but he wouldn't change it for the world; with his brother's golden hair tickling his face and his muscled arms holding him tight he felt invincible.

No matter how bitter he has become in recent years this memory still shines pure – for which Loki is eternally grateful.

_Spent the summer, just laying out in the sun_  
_Time seems to move so slowly_  
_When you're taking it as it comes_  
_Maybe we were just too young_

Unfortunately it was the childish emotion jealousy that marked the beginning of Loki's downfall. Thor was preparing to be crowned king; he would have no time for his younger mischievous brother. His older brother would be expected to marry and sire heirs while Loki would be the outcast sorcerer until Ragnarök.

Therefore when Loki sought to bring a pair of Jötun into Asgard it was not simply an immature prank but rather an ugly act of spite. Of course the results were the exact opposite; in Thor's banishment he was bewitched by the first Midgardian female to bat her lashes at him.

_Your body was tanned and your hair was long_  
_You showed me your smile and my cares were gone_  
_Falling in love filled my soul with fright_  
_You said "Come on babe, it'll be alright"_

Being the son of Odin and the brother of the mighty Thor did nothing to deter the constant stream of insults aimed at a young seiðr-wielding Loki; most Asgardians believed it was a feminine art. But Thor never ceased to be amazed whenever Loki learnt a new enchantment. Usually his brother's support was enough to help him ignore the other fools – still on some occasions Loki couldn't help but agree that he was too strange, even alien.

On these rare instances Thor would fly them far away from Asgard to somewhere so remote it was as if they were the only two beings in existence. Apart from his naturally gifted power over Mjölnir and the storm, the Thunder God could not master seiðr - save a few minor spells. One of which was a cloaking spell to mask them from Heimdall and the other was a preparation spell, which Loki used on himself but this time Thor would cast it on himself.

Looking back on it Loki thinks Thor enjoyed these times more than he did; Thor gazing up at his brother with such love as Loki moved inside him. He exudes love and acceptance that not even Frigga could match; Loki feels sick when he thinks of the devotion offered and the disgusting nonchalance and betrayal that has since been returned.

The brothers could easily spend a year together without realising it; they sent word back to the golden palace so their mother wouldn't worry. Thor would often tell Loki about his dreams of them running away together and having a family, Loki would laugh at the idea of one of them round with child. The idea that Thor loved him that much made him shiver – now it just made him wonder why Thor hadn't killed him already.

_I must have been a fool to the bitter end  
Now I hold on the hope that I'll have you back again  
I'd bargain and I'd fight  
_

Loki is glad that Thor has not come to visit him; after all he has done everything in his power to warrant so. However Loki longs to hear those words whispered warmly in his ear again, maybe now more than ever.

After he'd fallen from the Bifrost Loki taught that death would provide him with peace and that Thor might forgive him so they could meet as brothers once again in Valhalla. However when he was spat out on that lonely rock it soon became evident that he was to be punished. The physical, emotional and sexual torture that followed twisted his weak mind until he was no longer Loki; he was a creation of the Other and his mindless sycophants.

During his attack on Midgard his brother's sentiment attempted to pierce the walls the once-mighty sorcerer had created in his mind. Thor's accusations regarding Loki being controlled are too perfectly on the mark – he can still feel the lashes, bruises and breaks throughout his body; the pain fresh in his mind and physical form. He could see the pain and confusion in Thor's eyes and it only kills him more - he is glad for the torture.

_But there's another world  
We're living in  
Tonight_

The death Loki wished for did not come but death was a better fate than he had earned. Thor barely fought him; merely cuffed him, gagged him and brought him back for punishment. Odin was ready to execute him but Thor and Frigga stayed in hand, asked him for mercy. He almost laughed like a loon when he heard he was to be held in solitary confinement; spending the rest of his long wretched life with the memories of what he's done – Loki would truly reap what he has sewed.

He still selfishly wished his brother was here; holding him, making him feel invincible again after he had thoroughly learnt how far from untouchable he really was. To feel his big, strong hands caressing him again, so he could forget the vile touches that have haunted him for so long.

He wanted – no, needed – Thor, his heart ached for him. But he couldn't ask for it, how could he? How dare he ask for forgiveness?

_I don't want your memory_  
_In my head, no_  
_I want you here with me_

Loki wasn't sure how long he could stay in this cycle of self-loathing, and undeserved hatred toward his brother and all those who wish to help him. Throughout his life Thor had always protected his little brother from all those that wished him harm, but he never could protect Loki from himself; the most dangerous threat in the nine realms.

Now Frigga was dead; Loki might as well have wielded the blade himself. She'd given him a mother's love that he didn't earn or deserve. Loki was on the brink of insanity; nothing could change things back to the way they were. His only hope was that Thor would take pity on him and kill him quickly; seeing the hatred and disappointment in those stormy-blue eyes as he sent him to Hel.

When Thor did come there were no illusions; Loki wanted to bare himself finally and let his brother see who he really was – whatever the result.

_Don't need those memories  
In my head now  
I want you here with me_

Thor still loved Loki; only death could take that from him. But that love had been shadowed by confusion and frustration; Loki had left him in the dark and Thor had never understood shadows.

Thor watched as his brother's deception melted away to at last show him what was happening in his mind. It seems Loki can feel after all; their mother's death was enough to break him. Thor walked into the cell intent on ensuring his brother was back; he needed Loki back. The Loki that would do tricks just for him and spend months making love.

He knelt down to look at his brother and was horrified to see the broken thing staring back at him. Thor kissed him with all the passion he could summon; Loki's skin was wet and salty as he choked for air through his sobs. Thor sat on the ground holding his little brother close as he told him everything. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, Loki shivering all the while. Thor lifted Loki face to his own and stroked his cheek over the ghosts of a million caresses. His brother's wet eyes stared at him with disbelief.

"Call me an oaf, a liar, stab me again if you must," Loki couldn't help the smallest of smiles appear on his face, "but I love you Loki." He needed Loki more than ever, craved what they used to share. "I'm not leaving you again Loki. When we return I'll take you away and we'll spend a year, 5 years, 10 years – whatever you need. I know it'll take time brother but I'm here."

**How corny! Ugh! But you saw it coming didn't you!**

**Next: LokixThranduil**


	5. 4 The Would-be King & the Elven-King

The elven-king of Mirkwood was just preparing for bed when there was a knock on his door; a pair of his patrolling guards bowed to him as he opened the door. "Sorry to disturb you at this hour your majesty, however we have captured an intruder." The king sighed, becoming slightly agitated, "Is this not fairly regular? Curious men and suicidal orcs often cross our boarders – is it really worth interrupting my respite?"

The guards looked at each other as if rethinking their plan, "Well he is not an orc or elf. He looks like a man but he possesses great power; we had to put him in one of the charmed cells. And you also told us to keep an eye out for new additions to your harem; we think if managed properly he would be quite suitable."

Now he had to see this prisoner, "Very well." Thranduil tied his robe and followed the guards down to the cells. Thranduil looked through the bars and gazed at the figure lit only by candlelight. He was dressed in a leather jacket with light battle armour. His ink-black hair tumbled over his shoulders and his eyes were a glowing green. His hands were bound with a simple length of rope. Chains fell from the roof and were linked to a collar; the chain was long enough that he could sit comfortably. Instead he stood; whether though pride or stubbornness he wasn't sure but the king liked his new prisoner already.

"Thank you my friends. I can manage myself from now on." He said over his shoulder. His guards bowed before returning to their post. Once he knew they were alone the elf spoke up, "I now you are not of these lands; where are you from and what is your name?" The prisoner maintained his bored look as he ignored the king. Oh he did like his new pet.

"You will answer me or you will suffer the consequences my dark stranger." Now their eyes met and Thranduil felt a spark, Loki must have sensed the change in the air as he became much more agreeable. "I am Loki of Asgard. Your majesty, I confess; these bonds are tight. Must I stay in this dank cell? I swear on the life of my father – my king – that I mean you no harm, that I can be trusted."

Thranduil did not trust Loki for a second, but he was entertaining and beautiful. He opened the gate and stepped towards Loki; reaching out a graceful hand to push soft hair from the shackled man's face. "You are stunning." Loki seemed to absorb the comment and study the king, "I know. I must say you are quite striking yourself, even for an elf."

Now that he was standing so close to Loki he noticed they were almost the same height. He watched as Loki wet his lips, while Loki eyes roamed down the blonde's long, lean frame. "I'm going to kiss you now Loki – I expect you to behave yourself." As he was leaning in Loki cheekily whispered, "You may." The king pulled back and glared at his prisoner, "I was not seeking your permission. You are the one in chains; I can do with you as I please. If I wish to kiss you, touch you, fuck you I will do so and you will have no choice in the matter."

Now he held Loki's jaw and kissed him harshly; so hard he could taste blood. The metallic tang seemed to stir them both into a frenzy. Thranduil pulled at the rope of his wrists, letting them fall to the ground, and pulled the chain from the ceiling – he of course had access to some minor Elvish power himself – and pulled Loki to the bare, but comfortable sleeping mat.

Thranduil shredded at the green-eyed man's clothes without a care before delicately disrobing himself. He pushed Loki down onto his hands and knees and kneeled behind him. The king pulled a vial of oil from his robe before he threw it across the room; he knew he was going to have his new prisoner no matter what but he was glad he was as handsome as Loki. Although he'd released his hands Thranduil still kept a tight grip on the chain attached to his collar. He would cut his hair or burn Mirkwood before he'd trust Loki with his life so soon.

That meant that the elf had to do everything with one hand. He poured oil down the crease of the sorcerer's arse, and was delighted in the shiver that followed. "Cold love?" Loki growled softly, "Yes excellency, as a matter of fact it is. Now if you're going to fuck me I suggest you-" At that moment Thranduil pushed two thin fingers into the Trickster causing him to shout out.

"Don't tell me have not been taken before? A maiden as fair as you?" The king asked patronisingly. "As a matter of fact another brute with blonde hair and blue eyes had that privilege years ago. Sorry to disappoint." Thranduil pumped his fingers and pulled the chain hard, "I will have your respect; I am no brute, I am a king. Not a filthy dwarf or an ignorant man – an elven-king." While Thranduil was scolding Loki he pumped his fingers harder and faster causing Loki to drown out his words.

The blonde's cock was hard and ready to claim the man before him. He withdrew his fingers slowly resulting in a disappointed whine. "Hush darling, prepare to be taken." They both moaned as he slid home, their thighs meeting as the king stroked down Loki's back with his free hand. He decided he wanted to play, "If you want to be fucked then I suggest you help yourself; I still don't think you're worth my effort."

When Loki didn't move he rhythmically pulled on his collar, Loki followed and soon he was bouncing himself off the king's cock, moaning as each thrust hit that wonderful place deep inside. "Well done Loki, you are so tight." Loki grunted and tried to move a hand down to his own hard dick that was leaking over the bed beneath him. Thranduil pulled the hand away and smacked his pale arse lightly.

"You will come from my cock or nothing at all my sorcerer." He decided it was time to change position; he twisted the chain around the bars of the cell and turned Loki onto his back. The Asgardian's legs fell open instantly; eager to continue feel that exquisite pleasure again. "Then put that royal cock to good use."

Thranduil required no further encouragement as he held Loki's slender hips and lifted him to the perfect height and pushed in. The prisoner moaned shamelessly as he gripped the sheets, "Yes! Harder, please!" He stretched out his long white neck and Thranduil just could not resist.

He carefully lowered Loki back down before laying over him to suck on his neck while fucking him with long, languid strokes. He felt a hand slip through his hair as another gripped his arse almost painfully pushing him faster. "Now that I've had you Loki I'm not letting you go; you're mine." Loki groaned his approval and the elf could feel him tighten around him.

They were both so close and as they reached their peaks their lips met once again, but this time the kisses were soft, almost…loving. Thranduil didn't know when this change happened but he wasn't about to complain; Loki would make an excellent companion, they were so alike. Loki could be his friend, his advisor, his sorcerer, his lover.

They breathed in each other's moans and sighs as they came together; Loki coming across his own stomach and Thranduil deep within Loki. "You're perfect Loki." The dark-haired man seemed to almost come again and hugged him tighter to his chest as if it was exactly what he needed, what he craved. They both lay together entwined for what seemed like hours, occasionally touching and holding each other until he realised the time. He would visit tomorrow, and the day after – he might even move Loki to his chamber.

**Wow that took a lot longer to write than I wanted! There were two other versions where Loki's Jotunness came out and was a lot more fluffy with pregnancy and Jesus! I'll post that one if anybody really wants it. **

**Hope it was alright. I wanted to put in some Elvish but I didn't want to get spelling/translations wrong so sorry it's all in the common tongue. **

**Next: Anakin/Obi-Wan (Star Wars Prequel Series)**


	6. 5 Taken Away to the Dark Side

**So, before I even begin, please forgive my lack of knowledge in the Star Wars field. I've seen the Original Series more times than the Prequel but when I saw Ewan and Hayden I was like 'I'm Slashin' that!'. I mean I like Qui-Gon but I can't see Liam using his light-saber like that – he's mine! Hehe. But seriously I think I went pretty well with the Sith/Jedi lingo. And yes I know Ani calls Obi-Wan Master a lot but that's how he still pictures him – even though (I think) in their separate orders Anakin has surpassed him in rank, and before that he was graduated to a Jedi Knight, but eh.**

Anakin could sense his former master's presence long before the guards brought him to the map room. "Sir, Master Kenobi has requested an urgent private audience with you." Weak-minded fools, so easily persuaded by the Force. "Excellent, you may go. Do not return unless I strictly order you to do so."

With that the guards were gone leaving the two Force channellers alone. "Obi-Wan, it is a pleasure to see you again." As he circled the master he let his eyes roam. Of course coming over to the Sith order meant he lost his lover, but he meant to change that here and now, since he has been provided with such a perfect opportunity.

"Hoping to pull me back into the light? I'm afraid you're wasting your time. However I would like nothing more than to strip you of these Jedi rags, fuck you to incoherency and redress you in the powerful black of my order. Together we could take the Emperor down and put someone in place who will bring peace and equality to our star system."

If Obi-Wan was shocked at the mention of being fucked now he was awestruck, "You would really forsake your Master?" Anakin chuckled, "It's not like I haven't done that before. The old Sith lord has served his purpose to me and when he started threatening you, I knew he had to go."

Obi-Wan smirked; Anakin was still in there, yes he was now Sith but his spirit was still alive. "Why not come back with me? Return to the Jedi, Ani." Skywalker huffed and turned from the older man, "The Council would never allow me to return after everything that has happened." He turned back again, "No, you must come to me. The power is intoxicating Master; Palpatine would be no match for my rage – you know better than anyone how wild my emotions can get. I can make you feel so good Master."

Anakin rested his hands on Obi-Wan's hips and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. The Jedi Master cried out in immense pleasure, "Anakin! What are you…" It was as if an invisible lover was stroking him inside and out, "By the Force, Ani.." Obi-Wan groaned and rocked in the young Sith's grip.

The young man leaned in for a passionate kiss as he maintained the bond, "Tell me you want me Master." His Master moaned before he responded, "Yes Anakin, please. I want you inside me again."

Anakin immediately pushed Kenobi onto the closest table – maps and toy ships and soldiers were tumbling to the ground, all of Emperor Palpatine's carefully laid plans lay in ruin. He unwrapped his gift carefully, "Hurry Anakin, please. It's your fault I'm like this." Young Skywalker laughed again, "I think I will take my time Obi-Wan; I rather like seeing you squirming and desperate under me." Now the Jedi groaned in frustration, "Fuck me and I will help you. On one condition; you will consult me before killing anyone. Just because we are Sith doesn't mean we should deal death at will."

"We is it?" Anakin leaned down to kiss his Master before sucking and nipping along his throat. Obi-Wan growled and brought some slick substance to his hand using Force. "Now Skywalker!" The old man had never been patient, "As you wish Master."

Now it was Anakin's turn to disrobe, leaving only his loose black tunic on. He felt the Force around him urging him on, pulling them together – although that may have been his imagination. He pushed Obi-Wan until he was lying on his back with his thighs bracketing his own.

He quickly lubricated his fingers and started working open the pleading man beneath him, "You're tighter than I remember Master, maybe even as tight as our first time. You have not been with anyone else?" Panting, Obi-Wan replied, "Never Anakin; I am yours." The younger man grinned; he already knew the answer but he loved hearing it. He leaned over his lover, removing his fingers and lining himself up with the thoroughly wet and open hole.

He joined them slowly, drawing out the pleasure between them. "You will look so fucking sexy in black my love." Obi-Wan moaned and wrapped his muscled legs around the younger's waist. "I love you no matter what colour you're in Ani, as long as it's you." The young Sith rocked his hips gently, "Oh I've missed you."

Picking up pace Skywalker huskily growled in his ear, "What are you Obi-wan?" Breathless, the older man sighed, "A Jedi Master." Anakin started a punishing pace, "Not any more. What are you?!" Obi-Wan cried out at the change, "Sith, Anakin. I'll join your order. I'll take the black, just – please!"

At hearing this Anakin fucked the former Jedi in just the way he liked it, while snaking a hand down to his hard cock that must be aching. Obi-Wan was becoming tighter and tighter around Anakin and he knew now was a good time to seal their pact. "You will kill Palpatine, Kenobi. He will be the first victim of your new found sorcery." But the auburn haired man shook his head, "I will not murder anyone Anakin; you know me, that is not who I am."

He knew he would have to play on his Master's anger to pull him over, and to make him see reason. "If anyone deserves to die it is Emperor Palpatine – and it would not be murder. Think of all the blood on his hands! The soldiers, woman, children, Jedi younglings, padawans, knights, masters – your own master; Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan growled and rocked his hips. "He corrupted me, brought me over to the Dark Side, and took me away from you," Anakin whispered knowing that he'd won.

"Yes Anakin. He will pay. You will be at my side when I bring him down." Obi-Wan cried out in ecstasy as blue lightening rolled over his body travelled to the younger's body, but there was no pain. Anakin moaned as he felt Obi-Wan release over his hand and spilt his own seed into his beloved.

Anakin's robes fit Obi-Wan perfectly; he stood behind Jedi-turned-Sith Lord and dressed him slowly and carefully in front of his full-length mirror. "I can't wait to see the Emperor's face when you stand before him – an old Jedi Master – and use the Dark Side to destroy him. It will be fantastic." Obi-Wan laughed along but let it die down, "Anakin, why didn't you kill me? Or imprison me? Why keep me at your side?"

Anakin was shocked his Master would have to ask, yet he supposed his actions had been rather unpredictable lately. "I joined the Sith order, yes. However I didn't stop wanting you Master; it just became too difficult. But now I have you. Can you sense the difference in the Force; no rejection or imbalance, this is meant to be. Do you not feel how much stronger our connection is? I almost feel as though I could read your mind. Of course I wanted you by my side when we bring down the Empire."

"Always my little trouble-maker. I don't think Qui-Gon or even Master Yoda would have expected this. But it feels so right." He glanced at Anakin's reflection, who had grown silent, "What is the matter Ani?" The young Sith caught his eyes in the mirror, "I caught a glimpse of my future in a dream. I saw darkness, deformity and death. I knew you would protect me and make sure I didn't sink too far into the evil and darkness that curses this order."

Obi-Wan's heart ached for his former Padawan; he had been through so much and he was still so young. He turned and embraced his love, "I will not leave you again; I would take a saber to Yoda before I let you go again. Channelling the Force as fiercely as we can our enemies will fall, until there is nothing in our way."

Anakin groaned at the possessive edge to his Master's voice and he ripped open the robes he only just finished tying. "Fuck me. Now."

**Ugh. Hope that was k. Kind of dub-con I suppose but Kenobi knew what he was doing. I see the Dark Side of the Force as a way of loosening your inhibitions and letting your emotions guide you a bit more than Jedi orders and missions. Anyway be interested to hear what you thought.**

**Next: LestatxLouis (Interview with a Vampire)**


	7. 7 Meet the Cullens - TwiSlash

**Right. I'm ploughing through these pairings now! I know this will come off a bit rushed but I'm trying to keep each one under 2k words. Everyone out there feel free to take any of these ficlets and expand them; I would love to read what you put together.**

**Most of this is from Carlisle's POV; he's the almighty leader in this fic and the taker of butts. Sorry if you take offence to that. I just think Carlisle is the hottest vampire in the ENTIRE saga (and a younger, better-looking Tom Cruise).**

**Basically Carlisle clicks into alpha-mode and has the urge to dominate. He's not like this all the time – more like what he is in the movies/books.**

It's unknown to every species outside vampires the reason why deaths and near fatal attacks peak about every 25 years. It's only obvious when you really look at the statistics, and the pattern is mostly ignored.

The reason behind this is simple: Vampire Mating Cycles. Of course vampires don't breed – well, it's extremely rare – but it's a perfect opportunity for vampires to find their mates. Bonding with another strengthens each creature and heightens the senses and abilities they already have.

However during this period – its length varies depending on culture and climate – vampires are at their most feral and unreasonable; resorting to base instinct and beast-like habits. A vampire could easily rival a werewolf in this state.

During this time lone undead fight to pair with the perfect mate. It is not uncommon but neither is it a regular occurrence to have 3 vampires share a bond. Usually the extra female or male is like a pet to the others used for sex or treated as a child, while the other 2 are a true pair. In covens where each vampire is already paired the entire experience is quite different.

The Cullens are a perfect example of how these relationships work in a group. Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett are typical mates. While Esme, Carlisle and Edward are specially bonded; Carlisle and Esme are mates, and Edward their child.

Carlisle is the leader of the coven; he is the oldest, wisest and strongest – and he gets the chance to prove this every quarter of a century.

The Cullens spend the first week wrapped in desire. Emmett was sent from the house; his and Rosalie's idea of sex was far too destructive. Alice and Jasper joined quietly; sharing their emotions without a sound.

In the master bedroom Esme was coming for the third time this afternoon, while Edward was whimpering on the sidelines; painfully aroused. "Carlisle, please? Is it almost my turn? Esme? Please, I've been patient."

Carlisle looked into Esme's autumn coloured eyes, "What do you think my love? Are you sated?" She sighed and pondered for a moment before smiling brightly, "Of course Carlisle; Edward has been very good." He pulled out and kissed the corner of her mouth before turning to their youngest.

"I don't have it in me to be loving at the moment Edward – but that's not for you anyway, is it?" Carlisle growled. Edward lowered his head immediately; blatantly wanting to show his submission. "No; you love Esme," the youngest admitted. "Precisely. And you?" Edward responded without hesitation, "I'm here to be fucked. I understand Carlisle."

The blonde vampire grinned as he observed the tell-tale twitch of Edward's straining cock; he loved to be humiliated and talked down to during their seasons. He revelled in being an outlet for Carlisle when Esme was too tired or not interested – he loved being used.

"Very good. Now, unless you want me to fuck you dry; prepare yourself while I take care of Esme." Carlisle's snarl melted away as he turned to his wife, "I'll run a bath for you love, nice and warm. Oils?" Esme nodded and kissed Carlisle's wrist.

After leaving Esme to rest and relax in the spa Carlisle came back and – to his delight – found Edward in position. On his hands and knees at the edge of the bed; arse presented nice and high, and Carlisle could see the shine of lube between his cheeks.

"Good boy," the older vampire stalked slowly towards the younger and reached out to caress his smooth, pale behind. "I'm sure you remember the last time you disobeyed me." Carlisle could still hear the pained screams after he'd broken both of Edward's femurs; he'd been difficult. "Even with your healing it took you so long to walk smoothly again."

Edward whimpered at the memory and nodded, "Yes Daddy I remember". Carlisle smiled as he stepped behind the brunette and dropped his dress pants. He whipped his hardness out and rubbed it through the leftover slick, "This is all you're good for Edward; a loose, slutty hole for my cock."

He entered Edward in one hard, unforgiving thrust; causing the younger to cry out. "Feels so good Daddy!" He gave no thought to how Edward felt; he just wanted to tear skin, fracture bones and break spirits – everything he couldn't do to Esme. He loved his wife with all his heart; there was no way he could hurt her but he still had all these pent up vampire instincts telling him to control and possess.

Instead of typical cries of pain at such brutal treatment, only cries of pleasure exploded from Edward. The young vampire had come to expect and crave this behaviour from his maker.

When Carlisle was finished he pulled out; cum and blood drooled out in his wake. "As soon as you're finished see if your mother needs anything; I want to check on your brothers." Edward groaned and starting pumping himself; his other hand touching the bruises on his hips and fingering his cum-slick hole. Carlisle shook his head and laughed, going to look for his other sons.

When Carlisle confronted Emmett the hulking vampire pulled Rosalie behind him and snarled. "Why Emmett, you know I have no interest in your mate." Although in some covens it was acceptable that leaders could sleep with any member of his group, bonded or not, Carlisle chose not to. He liked to assert his dominance a little differently.

He pulled the sheet from Emmett and pointed to the foot of their bed, "Come." Emmett visibly relaxed and crawled over to the older vampire, while his delicate blonde wrapped herself in the sheets. "I haven't changed my mind darling; you can leave, watch or help. You know it doesn't worry me." Rosalie smiled; she knew Carlisle could be doing much worse, and Emmett didn't mind and she certainly didn't mind.

"I'll watch. Maybe being taken will remind him how it feels, and he'll be a little more considerate." Carlisle laughed at Emmett's frown, "Sorry babe; I just get carried away." The blonde male breathed deeply as he admired his son; let his eyes roam over the contours of his muscles. Emmett had all the strength and size to be a leader of his own coven, but he had no desire; he was a warrior, a protector.

He took Emmett a little harder than he had Esme, and he made sure to hit his prostate constantly and spoil him with his hands. "Fuck Carlisle; I'm so close!" Carlisle looked over to Rose who was pleasuring herself. He winked and she nodded; he trust faster again. Emmett's muscles tensed as he froze at the height of his climax; tightening almost unbearably around the older vampire.

Carlisle deeply inhaled the scent of their sex in the air. When Rosalie had recovered she rolled over to Emmett and cut into his wrist with her nails and offered it to Carlisle. It wasn't necessary but it showed that the pair accepted Carlisle's leadership and supported him. He drank a mouthful before taking his leave; this was the only time he broke his diet. Human blood was barely tempting any longer – he is a doctor after all.

After checking in with Esme and Edward – he was washing her hair – Carlisle's next stop was Alice and Jasper's room. He was still hard in his pants, he could have finished in Emmett but he believed in delayed gratification.

He opened the door to a beautiful sight; Jasper stretched out on his back with his legs spread around Alice's hips, who was working three fingers into him. "We saw you coming and decided to get ready; we know you want to get back to Esme." Alice singed while Jasper moaned his approval, "We could hear Emmett grunting like a wildebeest so we knew you wouldn't be long."

"Brilliant. Now how would like to do this?" Alice rolled away from Jasper, earning a disappointed groan. "I was thinking…"

He let himself be moved into position. In the end he sat on the edge of the bed, while Jasper sat in his lap and Alice knelt in front of them. "Excellent." Carlisle purred in approval as he held Jasper's hips and lowered the lithe vampire onto his engorged cock. When their hips met Jasper let his head fall back against Carlisle's shoulder. He didn't kiss his boys – that was for Esme – but he was happy to let Jasper lick and suck at his neck while Carlisle bounced him on his cock at a steady pace.

When Jasper started to breathe harder against his neck he knew Alice must have started with her mouth. Jasper was always sensitive and it wasn't long before he was coming down Alice's throat. Once he knew the sandy-blonde Texan had finished he let his control slip and spilt inside the satisfied vampire. Again he was offered blood that Jasper was all too happy to give.

A few hours later the entire coven met in the lounge; Carlisle could feel that their season was ending and knew that now was a good time for the final part of his routine. His family lined up before him in no particular order and waited. He gave them each a taste of his blood, because yes he was their leader, and they owed him respect, but he also promised to look after them and protect them – hence the offering of blood.

In a week Carlisle had reverted to his former role as a calm and sentient doctor that the town knew. But the Cullens would never forget who their leader was.

**Thanks for reading.**

**Next: BatmanxJoker**


	8. 8 Unmasked - BatmanxJoker

**Wow I've been gone for a long time! Sorry that went really quick! I just get into a rhythm of writing and then if I get distracted then I just fizzle out.**

**Anyway here's some BatJokes for you. My excuse is that Batman is sexy and so is Heath's Joker (what a fucking waste of a gorgeous actor (inside and out)).**

**This story was written with a depressing ending where they both died (!) but I couldn't publish it. Some people might be into that but not me; if you want that search for it, it is out there. So I modified it to what is under here now. There's fluff and a touch of angst but neither is too overwhelming.**

It frustrated him to no end; why couldn't he just let him go?

How many times had they met? A hundred times? A thousand? Yet the dark knight couldn't let the Joker die. They've brought each other to the precipice so many times but they couldn't bring themselves to give the final push.

Bruce came home to find the Joker sprawled out on his black leather couch, sleeping of all things. Bruce had only recently admitted to himself the feelings he has for the villain; an irrational possessive urge mixed with what could almost be called affection. It was the only reason Joker was still alive today.

The criminal's current state brought a smile to the hero's face; his purple jacket had been thrown to the floor, shoes kicked off revealing bright red socks, and even with the make-up he almost looked peaceful.

Since the situation was already strange the vigilante poured himself a drink and sat down in the armchair across from the snoozing Joker. It was amusing seeing the usually mischievous, maniacal villain so still and vulnerable and blissfully quiet.

Bruce pulled off his own shoes and loosened his tie, patiently waiting for his guest to wake up.

Half an hour went by before his intruder started rolling and stretching like an overgrown cat. "Oh, you're home Brucey. I was expecting to have a broken jaw by now. Do you usually let strange men sleep on your couch or only us evil villains?" Joker rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head – leaving himself more vulnerable. This amount of trust was making the billionaire suspicious.

But the next words fell from his mouth before he could stop them, perhaps put off by Joker's behaviour. "Only you." He cleared his throat and moved in his chair, "Why are you here? Come to threaten me? This is a bit more intimate than usual. No public messages? Intricate traps?"

Joker smirked and sighed into the cushions. "I'm taking a break for the night. And since I'm here we both know you have nothing better to do."

Bruce had to let out a little laugh at that. "Well there is that Norse god that's been terrorising the Avengers." He set his drink down and let his eyes roam. The Joker was slender but firm, lightly muscled with enough bone showing to make him interesting – quite different to himself. Long, long legs wrapped in tight purple. Under his war paint the Joker was almost beautiful – could he think that about his nemesis?

"I think your best friend, Superman, can handle that. What will I do in Gotham without you here to chase me?"

This time the masked crusader did laugh; was he dreaming? "What can I do for you on your night off?" He decided to play along.

The Joker brought a hand down to his thigh that was enclosed those form-fitting dress pants and stroked himself lightly, slowly inching higher. "I want you to touch me Batsy." Bruce's mouth must have been hanging open because the green-haired man simply giggled. "I've seen the way you look at me my knight in impenetrable Kevlar. I run you chase. I push you pull. I fall you catch." His slim hand coaxed a soft moan from his own throat and he gazed over at the stunned hero with dark, lust-blown eyes.

"I thought bats had good hearing? Come darling," Joker beckoned him with the same fingers that had bruised him over and over, "light of my life, don't leave me alone now."

Unable to comprehend his current situation Bruce was forced to run on instincts; right now his mind was telling him to follow the Joker.

He pounced onto the slim figure; groaning at the feeling of his body against him, without having to spill blood. "Gentle Batsy-baby. I want you soft tonight; everyone sees the tough, strong Batman. I want the gooey, creamy goodness inside." He lifted his hips up to rub against his own causing them both to groan.

"We can fight anytime; tonight I want you to fuck me." He whispered sinfully against Bruce's ear, licking it for good measure.

The billionaire was still not sure what was going on but he wasn't going to keep the Joker wanting. He'd hardened in seconds. But how long had his arch-enemy known? Had he always returned these feelings?

His useless thoughts were interrupted by hands across his chest; the man beneath him had stripped him of his shirt and his pants weren't far behind. "Your suit doesn't leave much to the imagination Brucey but I want to feel your skin, feel how you burn for me."

The need to see all of the Joker was sparked in him now and he returned the favour. Before long there was nothing between them, only Joker's paint, but he would grant him that….for now.

The criminal's skin was pale and scarred, almost exactly as he'd dreamed. But his visions paled in comparison to having him warm and wanting against him.

His cherry-red lips were drawing him in like a siren's call, the Joker parted them in an invitation he could not deny.

Out of the corner of his eye Bruce saw one of the Joker's long-fingered hands dart into his jacket. His heart dropped; expecting to see a knife or maybe even a gun – he'd fallen for another one of the maniac's traps.

Instead a bottle of lube was extracted. The Joker responded to Bruce's surprised, and secretly relieved, face by laughing, "A good boy scout is always prepared." His dark eyes were almost lost in the black paint around his eyes as the Joker slowed his grinding hips. "Now, I've always thought of fighting as a kind of dance. And we're old dance partners aren't we? We know all the moves, we have fun. But let's see if you can learn a new routine; I want you inside. Now. Prepare me."

"I've lain awake at night imagining your thick fingers working me open. The muscles in your arms tightening, your abs flexing, your thighs trembling as I walked you through our private dance. Are you familiar with the concept sweetheart? Have you been with a man before?"

Bruce just shook his head and waited for the laughter. Instead he felt the Joker pouring some of the slick substance onto his fingers, "My innocent knight, start with these."

He followed his huskily whispered instructions and slowly slid a finger into the impossibly tight heat. Gradually he added more until the Joker told him he was ready. Bruce found himself wanting to take his time; the beautiful figure beneath him was not the insane creature he'd come to know. He wanted to cherish this opportunity; it might never happen again.

The Joker wrapped a slick hand around his aching cock, wetting him and bringing him closer to where the criminal wanted him. "Hang on Hero." The younger man pushed the crusader back and sat up, only to push Bruce onto his back on straddle him. "Yes. I like this view better. And you're heavy; a mass of heaving muscles threatening to crush me." The Joker laughed before sitting up and lower himself slowly onto Batman's leaking cock.

If Bruce thought Joker was going to be quiet tonight he was wrong; however these sounds were different, he could never get enough of the clown's moans and sighs.

"Perfect Batsy." He took the billionaire's hands and brought them to his milky-white hips, "Hold on." His scarred lips curled into a smile and Bruce knew that now he'd seen it he would never get enough of it.

As they fell into sync the vigilante knew the Joker was right; this was just another series of moves, but he much preferred this dance. The clown rode him passionately - almost madly, but Bruce expected that from the Joker, he would be worried by anything less.

The increase in speed and pitch of his voice indicated that the man above him had struck gold. "Oh fuck Bruce – are you close?" Batman felt the Joker tighten around him even more; there was no way he could hold off much longer.

He simply nodded and met the Joker's hips halfway. He looked up to see the clown's face scrunched up in pleasure as he licked his painted lips. Some of his paint had been smudged to reveal the skin underneath. He let go and came deep into the criminal; digging his fingers in and groaning harshly.

The Joker's lips were on his before he knew it; he could feel the Joker's cooling cum pool against his stomach.

The pair lay exhausted and tried to catch their breath. He felt himself go soft inside the Joker and angled their hips to separate them, feeling his release ooze from the man above him. "I need a shower Joker," he managed to untangle himself and stood up, unashamedly naked in the middle of the room.

After an exaggerated sigh the criminal followed him. As they showered they laughed and exchanged soft touches, pointing out wounds on the other and reminiscing; they were like old friends.

The clown let actually let him lather up his hair and they watched as the shower's base turned green; from what he could tell there was light brown underneath. He stood and gaped in awe as the Joker took a cloth to his face and started to gently wipe away his mask.

He looked into the Joker's eyes as his face was revealed. The taller man dropped the – now ruined – cloth and waited with obvious discomfort for a reaction. "I killed the last man who saw me like this. And the last woman, well, there's not enough make-up in the world to disguise what I did to her. What do you think?"

Bruce saw right through the joking smile and saw pain. He leaned forward and kissed his criminal as his heart-wrenched at the other's openness. He knew now that they would never be the same again; he could never have enough of this.

"I think I love you – all of you."

The rest of the night followed was spent in the same blissful manner and when Bruce woke up the next morning the Joker was predictably absent. Months went by and the Joker called in at random; sometimes just to tease him, sometimes he was as sweet as that first night.

Some nights the Joker would come to him broken and bloody in dire need of medical attention. The next morning some big-name mafia goon would be mysteriously murdered. At other times when lesser criminals were keeping Batman out at all hours, Joker would see that the entire gang was rounded up and delivered to Gordon as a secret punishment for keeping his vigilante away from his bed.

They knew that it couldn't last forever; being Batman was a dangerous job, as was being the Joker. But the masked man knew that if the criminal was ever killed he would have no choice but to follow – as always.

For what was the day without the night? Death without life? Good without evil?

Nothing.

**See only a little angsty at the end there. Like I said I was going to come back as dark as a crow's arse but it hurt my feels. Bit longer than I intended but I couldn't pick bits out that were overly useless.**

**Hope that was okay, was my first go at this pairing. I kept reining myself in like: "this isn't Thor/Loki you're dealing with or Stefan/Damon", but it was a little difficult.**

**P.S. You may have noticed that I was banging on about LouisxLestat? I didn't mention it in the last lot of author's notes but I didn't publish it after all. I wrote it for myself I guess; the writer has said she doesn't want her works played with so. I wonder if I can do a Brad/Tom in that era? Hmm…**

**Next: Thranduil x Legolas**


	9. 9 Blondes Have More Fun - ThrandyxLeggy

**WARNING!: Explicit Father/Son Relationship, sexy elves, swearing.**

**Ugh! They're both just so hot I couldn't resist boarding this ship. I understand if you're not into it – just skip this one.**

Thranduil watched the sunrise with a forlorn expression; his son still had not returned from his quest with the Fellowship.

Although he had received word that his son was healthy, the king would wait until he could feel Legolas in his arms. He learned never to believe letters and messengers after Legolas' older brother, Calanon, was promised to be safely travelling home only to arrive as ashes. His grief had lasted centuries.

He dealt with the most urgent matters but his council knew not to bother him in his current state.

By all reports his son was expected home today. It may seem ridiculous, but to Thranduil every mortal hour without his son seemed insufferable. Legolas' was his only child; the only person he really loved and held any care for. The king was ashamed to admit that he had lost his passion for ruling; he was sick of battle and death, _'this is not what elves were made for, this is not who we are'_. Soon they will be sailing far from Middle Earth, and whether the remaining races cherish or destroy their earth will be our problem.

Now Thranduil lay in bed with silver moonlight shining through his window; his stomach in knots, his mind trying to tame his fear. _'What if Legolas has died? What if he never left Mordor?_' To imagine what the orcs would do to his beautiful child, what their jealously and hatred would drive them to do, made him sick.

Horns sounded to signal homecoming elves, Thranduil's heart thudded in his chest. Legolas was home! _'But what if he is in the same state as Calanon? Or perhaps there was nothing to bring back?'_ Now the blonde king felt as though a metal belt had been strapped across his chest.

He wrapped a midnight-blue rode around himself as he quickly made his way to the main gate. He schooled his face to one of patient indifference as he waited.

Finally the doors creaked open and there he was; Legolas, exactly as he was before, still shining and beautiful and alive. Relief and happiness flowed through him, the way sunlight warms your skin on a cool morning.

It would not do to see the stern King of Mirkwood so desperate and affected; therefore, he maintained his stony appearance as Legolas was congratulated by elves of lower positions until he reached his king.

The prince bowed before his father with respect, "My king. The Ring has been destroyed; all is well in Middle Earth once again."

Thranduil nodded and signalled for his son to rise, "You have made your kingdom and your race very proud, well done young prince. Will you join me for a quiet drink while we discuss your travels, or would you rather retire? I'm sure it has been a long and tiresome journey."

"Of course I will join you your majesty. Between men, hobbits and dwarves I am craving some civilised conversation." Legolas smiled as the room filled with laughter.

The walk to Tranduil's chambers was thankfully short. As soon as his door was closed he pulled Legolas to him, "Oh Legolas, you will never leave my side again; I could not bear it. Every day I thought you injured or dead."

The blonde prince hugged back equally tight, "I know Ada. All the way home all I could think of was Calanon and what must have been running through your mind. At least I knew you were safe. With every arrow and every thrust of my sword I knew I would be one step closer to you."

Both elves had tears in their eyes as they pulled back to meet each other's gaze. "My warrior-prince. This palace just isn't that same without you."

Thranduil leaned down to capture his son's lips, letting his mouth fall open to deepen the kiss. Legolas' moan hummed through his body, "Ada… I've longed for your touches and kisses for so long. Every night falling asleep alone in a strange place was agony."

The taller man sighed as he felt his erection meet the younger's, trapped between robes and leggings. "Take me, Legolas."

The prince wasted no time as he took his father by the hand and lead him along the very familiar path to the bedroom. In public the pair were King and Prince only, never father and son. Legolas always listened to his king and did as he was told. But here they were equals, and the young elf was happy to take charge.

Legolas had the pair out of their robes in seconds before he beckoned his father to the bed. It was popular opinion that Legolas was the handsome one; an elf to be coveted. But he had always taught of his father as his idol in everything. And the elven prince was the only person on this earth that knew how beautiful and loving his father really was.

He watched as Thranduil spread himself open lustfully; three fingers of his right hand were deep inside his own body while the other hand roamed the pale expanse of his chest and thighs. Legolas could only groan and wrap a hand slowly around himself; soaking up the vision before him.

"Yes, my son, touch yourself. Is this what you dreamed of? Of your father writing and panting beneath you? Do you want to fuck me? I'll be so tight Legolas, without you here lately to constantly stretch me. Late at night I taught of you and made myself come; dreamed of your hands and your mouth, and your throbbing cock."

"Ada! You know what that does to me! Do you want me to spill before I even get to touch you?" Legolas panted, slowing his strokes.

The king laughed at his child's suffering, "Have you remained loyal through your travels? Or did you find some blonde mortal to sate your lust in my place? Poor darling – having such a gorgeous elf above them, only to have him cry out another name at the height of pleasure."

Legolas growled as he fell upon his father and wrenched his hand away from his entrance. "Ada you know I would never touch another; why would I? When I could have you any time I wish."

The young elf had waited long enough; he slicked up his aching length and lifted his father's long, lithe legs to his waist before lining up. Ada was right; the muscles surrounding him were tight and inviting. He still couldn't believe they were able to love each other this way; if the other elves knew about them he is sure they would be slain. But he could never forfeit their relationship; he would rather die.

"Oh, my treasure, my beautiful son, I've missed you so much." The older elf gripped the sheets tightly as his son slid deeper. He tightened his hold around Legolas' waist as the prince lifted his hips from the bed and began fucking him just the way he liked it.

Legolas smiled as he watched his father stroke himself, "Yes, now it's your turn to touch yourself my king. Do you like this? Having your own son fuck you? Well I love fucking you Ada; I would trade anything on Arda to have you under me all the time – even my bow." They both laughed at that, however breathlessly.

"Every time we went into battle I imagined your sighs, the way your hair spilled across the pillow, the way your face constricted in pleasure as you came." Now the archer leaned down to plaster his front against his father's; touching as much skin as he could while thrusting faster still.

Thranduil pumped his cock frantically; the pleasure and honest love coming from his son racing him to his climax. "You're so good to me Legolas, so good to your Ada."

The elven prince felt the older elf go rigid beneath him as the muscles around his sensitive cock rippled. But the king didn't collapse just yet; he felt strong hands hold his arse and push him harder.

"Come for me now my angel. I love you my baby. My Legolas." The king purred into his poor son's ear. Legolas – overwhelmed by stimulation – came immediately.

They lay panting together, not moving a centimetre. Thranduil ran his hands through Legolas' long, soft hair, across his toned back and arse. "Good boy," he whispered softly. The king dipped his fingers between his son's cheeks and let his fingers graze his small hole. Legolas' hips stuttered, causing cum to leak out and drip across his thigh. "Yes – please Ada." His son whined and squirmed.

"Sleep first, and then I'll show you how much I missed you, my child." Thranduil promised.

**How was that? Sufferable? I try and keep updating more regularly.**

**Coming up next: SamxDean (Wincest!)**


	10. 10 Better the devil you know - SamxDean

**Cast your mind back to when it was the whole "Sam starring as Lucifer, Dean as Michael…" when Sam had to decide whether to give in or not, that's when this is set. Bit depressing, not for the faint hearted or those after happy endings.**

Sam and Dean had bonded in a way that not many people would understand. They were a team and they could trust each other. But they felt as though they were always meant to love each other like this; it just felt right.

Dean loved falling asleep with Sam around him and Sam loved holding his older brother; he felt like he was protecting him, but he could never tell Dean this or he would stop agreeing to it.

They thought it would be this way for the rest of their lives – but it wasn't; Sam said yes.

Dean's phone lit up with a message, _'Be in bed when I get home. 1 hour'. _Dean took a deep breath; this is how it was now. Dean finished his chores and stripped himself down, walking to their bedroom ready himself mentally and physically.

Dean lay down and slowly opened himself up. He used to love doing this for Sammy; surprising him and relishing in his lust blown face – that was before. Now the only reason he did this was because he knew that if he didn't prepare himself Lucifer would fuck him anyway.

It was the same every day; whenever Lucifer was finished for the day he would come home and claim Dean brutally. Even with prep it usually still hurt after. Luckily the devil still had the power to heal him when he was through, "what fun is a broken toy", he'd say. He remembered the countless times Cass had to do that for him when they were hunters, but Cass was dead now – along with everyone Dean knew or cared about.

Why would Dean put up with this? When Lucifer was finished with him he would let Sam out. He got to talk to his brother and remember why he hadn't killed himself ages ago. Dean was so addicted to those few hours with his brother that he couldn't let go.

He heard the front door slam and heavy footsteps coming closer. Showtime.

The former-hunter flipped around to get on his hands and knees just as the fallen angel walked into the room. "That's what I like to see. Now, definitely no crying or whining tonight." Dean had taken enough beatings to know not to disobey a direct order. "It's our six month anniversary and I'm going to give you a gift. I've been doing a lot of work and I'm close to sitting on my throne. You have no idea how wonderful it's been to have a whore waiting for me; a live-in fuck-toy, at my disposal. You're behaving much better than I anticipated – Sam and I are so proud of you."

"Thank you Luke." Dean was happy to have pleased the devil. "You're welcome. So I've decided to make you my consort; I'll make you immortal so you can stand by my side for an eternity. Would you like that?"

"What do I need to do?" Dean asked, trying not to sound so worried. "Nothing sweetheart. Now, turn around." Lucifer purred.

Dean felt Lucifer kneel behind him, felt his hot cock against his rim and then he slammed forward. He wasted no time at fucking at full speed, "Remember Dean; you'll be my consort, not a queen, I don't want you getting any grand ideas. Everybody's going to be so jealous of my pet; the beautiful and dangerous Dean Winchester. You can suck me, or I could fuck you, in my throne in front of the entire assembly."

Suddenly the devil was plastered against his back, switching to slow, deep thrusts. His skin was almost searing against his but Dean just took it like everything else. Lucifer reached a hand around and placed his open hand on the skin over Dean's heart. "I'm going to mark you; you'll be safe to walk around because people will see this and know that I have claimed you. No one will dare touch my pet – unless they have my permission of course."

As soon as he'd finished speaking Dean felt the skin under Satan's hand burn, but he just gripped the sheets and bit through his lip. He knew that Lucifer was actually doing him a kindness; without this mark he would either be killed or raped, or claimed by someone far worse – better the devil you know.

The pain had lessened to a dull throb now as Lucifer picked up his top half to bring him up to a kneeling position. The devil was still all the way inside him; his chest flat against his back. Dean looked forward at the mirror beside the bed to see the Lucifer's face over his shoulder, inspecting his handiwork. The brand looked like the one Cass left – which had been removed – except this one was black. But on closer inspection the brand was actually made up of tiny black letters and symbols.

"Thank you Lucifer." Dean managed to stutter out. The angel nipped at his ear, "You're welcome love." Lucifer purred in his ear. Without warning the devil's hips snapped forward, knocking the air from Dean's lungs. He thrust over and over, gripping Dean's hips and drawing blood. Other than heavy pants Dean was quiet; he never knew when and what noises he would make that would upset Lucifer. The ex-angel pulled Dean's head back by his hair and licking the drying blood from his lip.

A deep growl signalled that the devil had finished, along with hot cum, hotter than Sam ever put inside him. Dean didn't finish but he rarely did unless he was allowed.

"Good boy. I think you've deserved a visit from your baby brother. What kind of a master would I be if I didn't reward good behaviour?" Lucifer slowly pulled out and sat back, closing his eyes as he concentrated on dissolving the walls between him and Sam. When he opened his eyes again Dean knew it was Sam, "Dean," his little brother sounded so hurt. He pulled Sam into his chest; forgetting about his new scar. Dean gave a little yelp and Sam leaned back apologising and hissing on his behalf.

"It's okay Sammy, I'm just glad you're here. I don't care what he does to me, as long as I still have you. He must be close to finished; he's been treating me a little better lately, I know it could be a lot worse, I don't know why it isn't."

Sam laid them down side by side and stroked over Dean's soft skin, "He's definitely making progress, but the things he does Dean….. I almost feel sorry for some of the demons." Dean met his eyes and smiled at the soft brown eyes of his brother.

"Sorry Dean; let's not talk about him." Sam pulled his big brother close and tangled their legs together. "I love you, I'm so proud of you. I don't know how you doing this but I know you're strong – stronger than me. If you weren't here it would just be me and him." Dean could hear the change in Sam's voice and the shuddering in his chest.

"No Sam. I would never do that to you. Now that I have this mark I can be with you forever." Dean pulled back to hold his brother's face. The taller man blinked back tears and kissed his brother. "You're still hard – he didn't let you come again?" Sam rubbed his thigh against Dean's erection; he moaned at the touch.

"Do you want me to suck you? I'd ask you to fuck me but I remember what he did to you last time." Dean watched his brother visibly deflate. "We can do as much or as little as you like Sam, I don't mind; I'm just happy to be with you."

"I want to." Sam wriggled down until Dean could feel his breath against his cock – which he'd just realised was aching. Sam was gentle and loving; the exact polar opposite of anything Lucifer had ever done.

When Sam was finished he got up and searched for a salve for Dean's mark; which burned and throbbed. Afterwards Dean enjoyed having the full length of his brother against him as they drifted off with Sam's huge paws stroking him softly. As Dean fell asleep he heard Sam whisper words of love and devotion, "Don't forget about me Dean, I love you, always."

Lucifer woke early that morning to find Dean moulded against him – sentimental idiot. He had to laugh at how easy the ex-hunter was to manipulate, a few kinds words here and soft touches there and he melted for him.

Of course he would never let Sam out; he was locked away deep inside the dark angel.

But if being a little sweet was all it took to have Dean Winchester by his side forever, then so be it.

**Up Next:** Thor/Captain America/Loki


	11. 11 Gotta Hear This Black-box - TxSxL

**I think I rewrote this like 4 times! I'm still not 100% happy but hopefully it's okay.**

**ThorxStevexLoki. Warnings for cross-dressing/feminization of Loki...basically Loki gets tag-teamed by two blonde pilots. Smut...just smut.**

Thor was settled into the flight comfortably. He was instructing a new pilot: Captain Steve Rogers. Rogers seemed like a pretty good guy so he decided to share his little secret. "Steve, in about 10 minutes a flight attendant will come in here – she's my girlfriend – and ask if we need anything. That's basically my cue to fuck her. If you like I could get her to blow you?"

Steve's mouth dropped open, "She'd be into that?" Thor chuckled, "When you see her you'll understand."

Sure enough 9 minutes and 51 seconds later there was a slight knock to the door before it was pushed open. Steve's mouth went dry and Thor grinned. Her raven-black hair was tousled across her shoulders, pressed white shirt was open deep enough to show off the black lacy bra underneath, a forest-green ascot wrapped loosely around her neck. On the bottom a short, tight black skirt with sheer black stockings underneath, finished off with a pair of black stilettos. She was pretty but Steve thought there was something a little different about Loki, but he wasn't one to turn down a blow job.

"Oh. I didn't realise you were training a puppy today." Loki purred. "Loki, this is Captain Steve Rogers. I'm helping him get his experience up." Thor's grin had not lessened a millimetre. "I see. Well is there anything I can get you boys?" Her eyes lit up with mischief.

Thor pulled Loki into his lap easily; not meeting any resistance in his girlfriend. Thor winked at Steve and whispered in Loki's ear. She giggled and nodded before stepping over to the younger pilot and kneeling in front of him. "As you can see; I'm into big, blonde, blue-eyed boys – let's see how you measure up."

Loki took Steve's half-hard cock out and started stroking until it was full. She hummed and turned to Thor who nodded in approval – obviously impressed by the size.

Loki's mouth was heaven - she'd obviously done this before. He was almost ready to come when Thor got up and stood behind Loki. He watched as one of Thor's hands reached to play with her breasts while the other slid up her skirt. The vibrations from her moans were incredible, but just before he finished she stopped.

She pulled back and gave him one final lick before sitting back and smiling. Thor chuckled at Steve's disappointed face, "Sorry but we'll need some way to keep her quiet and she can't scream with a mouth full."

Thor turned back to Loki, "Good girl, now it's your turn." Thor kissed her throat and opened her shirt; revealing her pale skin to Steve's hungry eyes. Loki preened at the attention and giggled; her green eyes glowing. But on closer inspection Steve noticed the absence of soft feminine curves, instead in their place were sharp lines, toned, defined muscles and a tell-tale flat chest – she was a he.

Steve watched in silence; shocked but still too turned on to care.

Thor hoisted Loki up and threw him back on to the empty console between the panels, "This time please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times." Thor shook his head and looked over to Steve, "Last time she was in here I was eating her out and she kicked the throttle! Luckily we didn't get thrown off course too much but she didn't get to finish, did you?" Loki huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Thor you can do away with the 'hers' and 'she's'; Steve isn't the dumb blonde that you are. Just hurry up!" Loki growled.

Thor pushed his skirt up to her hips revealing his matching panties. The bulge underneath the fabric, that threatened to give-way at any second, brokered no argument. The stockings ended up in tatters around Loki's calves and the shoes hit the deck. It was so obvious now that Loki was a he, and somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he should be more shocked but right now his cock didn't care one way or the other; he had to be back inside that mouth.

He was brought back by an urgent moan from Loki; Thor was cupping his cock and rubbing it while mouthing at one of his nipples. The poor little scrap of lace stood no chance as Thor ripped the garment from Loki.

When Thor trailed a finger down to Loki's hole it found it already occupied; a small red dildo was seated comfortably inside him. "Eager are we?" Thor asked – voice under obvious strain. "Didn't I tell you to hurry up? Or should I just ask the kid to fuck me?!" Loki warned, smiling at the faces on the men above him. He looked to Steve and winked, "Maybe next time."

Thor removed the toy from Loki before replacing it with three fingers. "Your cunt is so wet Loki, but tight, so tight. Bet you can't wait to be filled, hm? Filled by cock from both ends? When we're finished with you you'll be exhausted, stretched, sore and leaking cum." Loki cried out as Thor pumped his fingers faster and harder.

Loki lifted a foot to Thor chest and kicked him away, rolling over a presenting his arse to him while reaching for Steve. "You idiots have kept me waiting long enough already, and you ruined my new negligee. If you don't drive me out of my mind I'll be swapping shifts so I never have to see you; maybe I could tend to Bruce Wayne's needs."

That stroked Thor's possessive side perfectly; he punched his cock into Loki's wet entrance with one vicious thrust. Loki cried out at the immense pain and pleasure of it. Thor caught Steve's eye and nodded to Loki. Thankfully the young pilot read him and stood before Loki; his thick cock lining up perfectly with his waiting mouth.

Thor looked on happily as his vision came to life; Loki speared between them with Thor's hands gripping his hips while Steve's were tangled in his black hair.

Thor fucked away like a well-oiled machine; hitting Loki in all the right places causing him to moan and cry around the young blonde's flesh. Hearing those muffled sounds Thor knew he was close. Wrapping a hand around Loki's hard cock Thor stroked in time with his thrusts and Loki fell apart. He was actually glad Steve was here to keep the screams at bay or he could have had some awkward explaining to do.

Rogers followed close behind; Loki was with it enough to swallow all of his release and not let any spill on his uniform.

Now that everyone else was taken care of Thor would finally let himself come. He easily lifted a satisfied Loki up and back onto his lap and began chasing his own pleasure.

But just as he was about to climax the sky ahead turned dark and lightening flashed across the sky. He growled and paused, "The gods must be against me getting laid; every time I get close with Loki in here a storm comes out of nowhere! Rogers can you keep an eye on things? I am not stopping again."

Loki leaned down to puff in his ear, keeping his voice low enough for only Thor to hear, "Maybe the gods are angry at you for fucking your own brother." That was it for Thor; he came deep inside Loki, groaning, keeping Loki's mouth tight against his to quiet himself.

Once Thor had recovered he noticed the sky was clear again; gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

**Next: SupermanxBatman**


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